


Little One

by ami_ven



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Ancient Devices, Community: mcsheplets, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 00:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2753024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ami_ven/pseuds/ami_ven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John thinks he’d be a terrible father, until an accident with an Ancient device proves him wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little One

**Author's Note:**

> written for LJ community "mcsheplets" prompt #060 "accident"
> 
> **Fun Fact:** this was written at work (when I’m not supposed to be writing) in very tiny handwriting, on 43 square sticky notes.

“I just want to understand _why_ ,” Rodney said. “Why you don’t want to do this.”

“It’s not that complicated, Rodney,” said John, shrugging. “I just don’t think I’d be any good at it.”

Rodney took his hand. “You would be a fantastic father, John. Look at how wonderful you are with Torren.”

“Yeah, but I can send him home at the end of the day,” said John. “I can’t screw him up in just a couple of hours at a time.”

“You wouldn’t screw up our kid,” said Rodney. “Jeannie and I had a terrible childhood, but she’s done okay with Madison. You know, other than her father being an English Major.”

John managed a smile. “There are worse things than English Majors, Rodney.”

“Yes, yes, the _point_ is that we can learn from our parents’ crappy examples and make sure our kid has a better childhood than either of us had. Just _think_ about it. Please?”

“Okay,” John agreed.

He honestly did mean to think about it, but he never got the time. Their next mission was to a planet, accessed by orbiting ‘gate, where the MALP had picked up unusual energy readings. Those turned out to be another abandoned Ancient outpost, in the usual state of ten-thousand-year-old disrepair and full of half-working consoles just begging to be touched.

Rodney touched one of them.

One minute he’d been frowning at his laptop and the next a tiny curly-haired toddler looked up at them with big blue eyes and said, “John?”

Back in Atlantis, Carson informed them that the boy was perfectly healthy, about two years old, and unquestionably a younger version of Rodney McKay.

“Physically younger,” Carson added. “He recognizes all of us, knows where he is, that he was an adult and a scientist this morning. But he’s very much processing things as a child. He’ll need someone to look after him.”

“John,” little Rodney said, firmly, from his seat on the bed.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, buddy,” said John. “Wouldn’t you rather stay with Teyla? Torren’s only a year older than you are right now, and I’ll bet he’d love someone to play with.”

Rodney shook his head. “ _John_.”

“I will help you, John,” said Teyla, laying a hand on his arm. “Kanaan and I still have Torren’s crib, and there are several items of clothing he has recently outgrown.”

“Thanks,” John said. He hadn’t even thought about clothes or sleeping arrangements.

“I’ll help, too,” added Ronon. “He can’t be any more annoying like this than he normally is.”

“Heard that!” little Rodney cried. “Caveman!”

“See?” said Ronon. “It’s cuter now.”

Rodney continued to glare, small arms crossed, so John scooped him off the bed and settled him on one hip. “You could probably use a bath, buddy,” he said. “Teyla, would you guys mind bringing that stuff over while we do that?”

“Of course, John,” she said.

By the time John had gotten Rodney clean— “I can do it myself,” seemed to be little Rodney’s new motto— Teyla, Ronon and Kanaan had set up Torren’s old crib next to John’s bed and left a stack of toddler-sized clothes on his dresser. Torren had come, too, and he grinned at the sight of Rodney wrapped in a thick towel.

“You’re littler than me, Uncle Rodney,” he giggled. “Are you gonna get big again?”

“We do not know,” his mother said, smoothing back his hair. “Uncle Rodney may indeed have to grow up again. But Uncle Radek is already studying the device that has caused this.”

“Good,” said Torren. “He’s smart.”

“Yes, he is,” John agreed. “Thanks for letting Uncle Rodney borrow your stuff, T.J.”

“You’re welcome, Uncle John.”

Teyla helped him get Rodney into clean clothes, a soft Athosian shirt and Earth-made blue jeans, then everyone headed for their own rooms, leaving John and Rodney staring at each other.

“So, buddy…” John began, awkwardly.

“Read a book?” suggested Rodney.

“Sure,” John agreed. “Sure, we can read. Um…”

He figured Rodney wouldn’t have enjoyed _War and Peace_ at any age, so he found his dog-eared copy of _The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy_. John didn’t know if that would hold a toddler’s attention for very long, either, but he was a good quarter of the way through the book, sitting up against his headboard with Rodney snug against his side, when their doorbell chimed.

“Come in,” he said.

“Ah, colonel,” said Mr. Woolsey, stopping in the doorway. “I thought I would check in with you. I took the liberty of alerting the rest of the science staff to Dr. McKay’s… condition, but I wasn’t sure if a city-wide announcement would be wise.”

John shook his head. “Not until we know if this thing is reversible or not.”

“Yes, yes, of course,” said Woolsey. “Ah… and how are you feeling, um, Rodney?”

“Hey, you remember Mr. Woolsey,” said John, when Rodney didn’t answer.

“You tryin’ to turn me back?” Rodney asked.

“Dr. Zelenka and the rest of the science team are, yes,” said Woolsey, a little uncomfortably, then continued, “Colonel, your team will be on stand-down until… well. And Major Lorne asked me to tell you that he’ll handle any paperwork that doesn’t require your personal authorization, so you can concentrate on helping Dr. McKay.”

“Thanks, Mr. Woolsey,” said John. “Tell everyone… thanks.”

He nodded, and left. John picked up _The Hitchhiker’s Guide_ again, just as Rodney’s stomach rumbled loudly.

“How about an early supper?” John suggested.

He wasn’t sure what kind of arrangements Woolsey had made, but the sergeants in the mess didn’t even blink at the toddler on John’s hip. There were about half a dozen kids on Atlantis by now, including Torren, so the mess staff just gave Rodney a smaller tray and a glass of chocolate not-cow’s milk, like any of the other kids.

The only hitch was the pouting face Rodney made when John wouldn’t also let him have a cup of coffee, which was a dozen times more effective than usual with Rodney’s curly hair and big blue eyes.

“No coffee,” John repeated, “but if you’re good, you can have a piece of chocolate cake.”

“A big piece?” Rodney wheedled.

“A big piece,” John agreed, because the pout was definitely working. “ _If_ you’re good.”

Rodney ate with his usual enthusiasm, but slightly less hand-eye coordination, so he was pretty messy by the time the rest of their team arrived.

“Nice look, McKay,” said Ronon, dropping into the seat across from him.

“Caveman,” Rodney retorted, with his mouth full.

“Rodney,” said John and Teyla at the same time, in the same disapproving tone, and John winced.

“And don’t talk with your mouth full,” he added, which only made it worse.

Teyla smiled. “You and Rodney seem to be doing well, John,” she said.

“It gets better, right?” he asked. “Easier?”

She smiled again, and leaned over to help Torren with something.

By the time Rodney had finished his big piece of chocolate cake, he _definitely_ needed a bath. He didn’t seem too keen on the idea, this time, until John found a bottle of bubble bath in the box Teyla had left for them. Rodney was a lot more willing to let John wash his hair after he’d fashioned himself a bubble beard, although he insisted on giving John one, too.

“You look silly,” giggled Rodney, and John had to laugh, too.

“You look pretty silly yourself, buddy,” he said, and tipped a cup of water over Rodney’s head to wash the bubbles away. 

“Hey!” the boy protested. “That’s wet!”

“You’re in the bathtub,” John pointed out.

Rodney scowled, then brightened. “You got bubbles, too!” he cried, then scooped up a handful of water and flung it at John.

John spluttered and splashed him back, flinging water around until they were both breathless from laughter. “Okay,” said John, still laughing. “I think we’re both clean enough.”

Rodney peered around the bathroom. “We made a mess,” he said, cautiously.

“Yeah, yeah, we did, buddy,” said John. “But I’ll clean it up later.”

“Oh,” said Rodney.

John reached for a clean towel, glad he’d put it out of the line of fire, and bundled Rodney into it. The toddler was yawning by the time John wrangled him into his borrowed pajamas and fast asleep before John could even get through a whole chapter of _The Hitchhiker’s Guide_.

“Good night, Rodney,” John said, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

Then, he went to wipe down the bathroom.

John fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, but he was awake instantly when he heard a whimper from beside his bed. He rolled out, reaching for the gun on his nightstand that was now safely locked up in the closet, just as Rodney woke up, crying.

John scooped him up, murmuring nonsense at him, until he realized Rodney was saying something.

“Wraitharegonnaeatme,” he sobbed. “Wraitharegonnaeatme _Wraitharegonnaeatme_.”

“The Wraith are _not_ going to eat you,” John promised, fiercely. “Nothing’s going to hurt you, Rodney, I won’t let it.”

“You won’t?” Rodney hiccupped.

“Never,” said John.

Rodney made a few more shuddering sniffles against John’s collarbone, then quieted. John knew he should probably put the kid back to bed, but he couldn’t seem to let him go. He paced the room for another moment, then climbed into his own bed, Rodney still in his arms, and turned out the light.

“Love you, John,” Rodney mumbled, sleepily.

John hugged him a little tighter. “Love you, too, buddy.”

The next morning, Radek met up with them in the small gym where Teyla had her beginners’ bantos rods and meditation classes.

“Any news?” John asked, softly, keeping one eye on where Rodney and Torren were laughing and hitting each other with the foam practice sticks.

“Some,” said Radek. “There is progress with reversing the device, but it will take some time, yet.”

“What?” said John. “Why? How long?”

“Perhaps a week?” said Radek, then quickly added, “There calculations are _very_ delicate, colonel, and for once we have the time to be cautious. Rodney is small, yes, but he is healthy and happy. He will not mind the extra time to be sure we are doing this properly.”

“But I—” John began, as a small blur collided with his shins.

“John, John, John,” said Rodney.

“Yeah, buddy?”

“No, you’re _my_ buddy! Teyla says it’s time to play sticks with a buddy, and I’m your buddy, so you have to be my buddy.”

“You cannot argue with that logic, colonel,” said Radek, smiling. “I will leave you to it.”

John smiled back, and let Rodney drag him out onto the mat.

After running around all morning, Rodney was more than ready for a nap that afternoon. But he’d been asleep for less than ten minutes when he woke up again, not really crying, just sniffling miserably. John walked the whole length of their bedroom, singing “Ring of Fire” like a lullaby, but it didn’t help. Finally, he started to really worry, and took Rodney to the infirmary.

“He’s got an earache, poor lad,” said Carson, putting away his medical scanner. “I can give him a little something for the pain, but I’m afraid he’s just going to have to ride it out.”

“C’mon, Carson,” said John, as Rodney continued to sniffle miserably into his shoulder. “Isn’t there anything you can do?”

“It’s difficult enough to treat children,” said Carson. “And without knowing exactly what that device did to Rodney, I don’t dare give him anything stronger.”

“Yeah, okay,” John said. “But what do _I_ do?”

Carson smiled and rested a hand on Rodney’s back. “You’re already doing it, John. Just make him as comfortable as possible.”

“Hurts, Carson,” Rodney moaned.

“I know, lad,” the doctor said.

Rodney’s earache lasted for two days, more than long enough for John to learn that he’d rather be fed on by a Wraith (again) than be helpless while someone he loved was in pain. Because nothing he did seemed to help. John must have walked miles back and forth across the floor of their room, with Rodney sobbing miserably into his shoulder. He sang every song Johnny Cash had ever done, and slept half-propped against the headboard with Rodney sprawled on his chest, jolting awake every time the boy whimpered in his sleep.

John woke to his radio beeping on his bedside table and realized that not only was Rodney still asleep, but that he hadn’t woken at all during the night.

“Sheppard here,” he said, dialing down the radio’s volume.

“ _Lorne here, sir_ ,” came the voice on the other end. “ _I know you’re supposed to have time off, but we’re preparing the data-burst for this afternoon, and there are a few things that absolutely need your signature. Can you spare a few minutes to come to your office?_ ”

“Sure,” said John, glancing at the clock. Teyla would be up by now, and she wouldn’t mind Rodney joining her family for morning meditation and breakfast. “Give me… twenty minutes.”

“ _No problem, sir_ ,” said Lorne.

“Thanks, major. Really.”

“ _You’re welcome, sir. Lorne out_.”

John keyed off his radio and shook Rodney’s shoulder gently. “Hey, buddy,” he said, when big blue eyes blinked up at him. “How’re you feeling?”

“Doesn’t hurt,” said Rodney, kneeing John in the stomach as he sat up. “Doesn’t hurt _at all_.”

“That’s great,” said John. “Let’s get you dressed, buddy, because I’ve got some very official colonel business to do, and I need you to stay with Teyla and Torren for a little while, okay?”

To his surprise, Rodney threw his arms around John’s neck, making his head _thunk_ back into the headboard, and sobbed, “Don’t send me away, John! I’ll be good, I promise!”

“Hey, hey, hey, _buddy_ ,” said John, sitting them both up and using the hem of his t-shirt to wipe Rodney’s face. “I’m not sending you away. I’d _never_ send you away.”

“Never?” he asked, half-accusing and half-hopeful.

So far, Rodney had given no indication he remembered that grown-up-him and John were in a relationship, and John felt weird bringing it up while Rodney was a toddler, so instead he asked, softly, “Do you remember me telling you that you’re stuck with me, Rodney? Because I meant it. Forever is a really, really long time, and I want to spend every bit of it with you. I just have some boring grown-up stuff to do right now, and I thought you’d have more fun with Teyla and Torren.”

Rodney shook his head. “Stay with _you_ , John,” he said.

John hugged him again. “Okay, buddy.”

Lorne didn’t say anything when John walked into his office with a toddler on his hip, or when the only response to his cheerful, “Good morning, Rodney,” was a half-hearted wave.

“He’s still not feeling well,” said John, and Lorne nodded, understanding. He’d set everything up on John’s desk, the requisition and transfer forms John needed to sign, the mission reports he had to approve (complete with sticky-note summaries for the ones over two pages long) and John made a mental note to put his second-in-command in for a commendation for the next data-burst.

Halfway through signing his name for the thirtieth time, Rodney fell asleep against John’s shoulder, snoring softly.

“You want me to take him, sir?” Lorne asked, in a whisper. “While you finish?”

John shook his head. “Thanks, major, but we’re good.”

Rodney woke up on the way to breakfast, chattering happily in John’s ear until they got to the mess hall and he had a minor hissy-fit when John wouldn’t let him take a cup of coffee.

“Gotta have coffee to do science!” Rodney protested.

“It’ll stunt your growth,” said John, carrying their trays over to the table where the rest of their team already sat.

Rodney scowled. “You’re mean and I hate you!” he said, and went to sit next to Ronon.

John didn’t realize he’d been standing frozen, still holding their trays, until Teyla took Rodney’s from him and passed it to Ronon.

“He does not mean it, John,” she said, knowingly.

He nodded mutely and sat down across from her to eat his own breakfast. Kanaan must have guessed that something wasn’t right, because he started a conversation about the new crops they were trying to grow on the mainland, and ignored John’s frequent glances to where Ronon was helping Rodney cut up his pancakes. After a few minutes, John got drawn into the discussion and finished his own food automatically.

“Hey,” said Ronon, suddenly, and John looked up to find Rodney standing next to his chair, looking upset.

“You’re not mean and I don’t hate you,” said Rodney. “I didn’t mean it, John. I love you, lots and lots.”

John swallowed around a sudden lump in his throat, and scooped the boy into a hug. “I know, buddy, I love you, too.”

“See, kid,” said Ronon. “He’s not mad. You just hurt his feelings.”

“I didn’t mean to!” said Rodney, sounding dismayed.

“I know,” said John. “And I feel much better now, I promise.”

Rodney nodded and leaned his head against John’s shoulder. “John?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I stay with you forever?”

John thought of their wedding rings, sitting in the carved wooden bowl on their dresser, where they set them before every off-world mission. “Of course you can, Rodney,” he said.

Radek caught up with the team as they were leaving the mess. “Colonel!” he said, excitedly. “I believe we have finished the calculations for reversing the device!”

“The calculations for… you can turn Rodney back?” said John.

Radek nodded. “A few more tests to run, still, but I believe we will have everything ready by tonight. Can you bring Rodney to auxiliary lab three, after supper?”

“Tonight?” John repeated.

“Is that a problem, colonel?”

“No, no, problem. We’ll be there.”

“Are you sad again, John?” Rodney asked, after they’d left the others and turned back toward their quarters. “Did Radek hurt your feelings?”

“I’m not sad, I’m _thinking_ ,” said John, managing a smile. “About how much fun we’re going to have today.”

“Fun?” Rodney repeated, dubiously.

John set him down and crouched beside him, so they’d be at the same eye level. “If you could do anything, buddy, anything at all, what would you like to do today?”

He was prepared for Rodney to demand that they go to the lab, half-hoping that Rodney would want to go up in a puddle jumper. John was _not_ prepared for Rodney to ask, shyly, “Can we read? Book we’ve been reading ‘bout space Arthur?”

“ _The Hitchhiker’s Guide?_ ” said John. “Is that really what you want to do?”

Rodney nodded eagerly. “Read _all day_ ,” he said. Then, his face fell. “You said anything. You said!”

“I did say,” John agreed. He stood, holding out his hand. “Reading all day it is. But we can’t forget about snacks.”

“Ooh, snacks,” said Rodney, and John laughed.

John’s voice was hoarse by the time they found out the question to the answer of life, the universe and everything, almost all the way through the five-part trilogy. Rodney interrupted frequently with questions and comments and asked John to keep going at the end of every chapter, until his stomach rumbled loudly.

“Dinner time,” said John, closing the book.

In the mess, Rodney pushed his chair closer to John’s at the table, happily telling Teyla about their day.

“C’mon, buddy,” said John, when all their plates were clear. “Radek’s probably waiting for us.”

“Okay,” said Rodney, sliding out of his chair.

“I will see you both later,” said Teyla, and John nodded.

“Thanks,” he said, awkwardly. “I— thanks.”

She came around the table to press her forehead to his, then did the same with Rodney. “You are both very welcome.”

Radek was waiting in the lab. “We are ready,” he said, not looking up from his laptop. “If Rodney will please stand at the mark.”

There was an X of electrical tape on the floor, but Rodney clung tight to John’s hand. “You’re sending me away!” he wailed.

John crouched, holding both his hands. “No. No, Rodney, of course I’m not. But you’re not supposed to be little, now, you know that. You’re supposed to be a grown-up, so you can be big and strong and smart, and save everybody in Atlantis at least once a week.”

“Do you miss grown-up me?” Rodney asked, softly.

“Yeah,” said John, because he couldn’t lie to Rodney, at any age. “But I’m going to miss little you, too.”

Rodney took a deep breath. “Okay.” He leaned up to kiss John’s cheek, then walked over to the tape mark. “Okay, Radek.”

Radek looked at John, who nodded, then he activated the machine.

There was a flash of bright light, and a grown-up-sized Rodney staggered back into the wall. He blinked, then launched himself at John, pulling the colonel into a bone-crushing hug.

“Hey, buddy…” John began, but Rodney held on tighter.

“Have babies with me,” Rodney said, in a shaky voice.

“You _do_ know we’re both men, right?” said John. “And don’t you remember—?”

Rodney pulled back to look at him. “I remember, John,” he said. “I remember _everything_.”

“Look, Rodney, I’m sorry—”

“Shut up,” Rodney snapped. “I was happy, okay? I mean, looking back with an adult perspective, now, I can tell you were freaked out and making it up as you went along. But, then? As two-year-old me? I just knew you loved me. You listened to me, you took care of me when I was sick, you read to me for hours. You are going to make an _amazing_ father, and I want to make sure you get the chance.”

“I…” John began, but Rodney kissed him, gently.

“We could get started on that baby right now?” the scientist suggested, with a playful leer.

“First you see Carson,” said Radek, sharply. “Then, I pretend you said, _Thank you, Radek, for all your hard work_ , and I say, _You’re welcome_ , and you never discuss sex in my lab ever again. Very good plan.”

John laughed. “Thank you, Radek. How do you feel about being a godfather?”

But John didn’t hear his answer as Rodney pulled him in for another long kiss.

THE END


End file.
